Friday, October 2, 2009

Simply Complicated

I have sat for a long time tonight trying to come up with a a interesting and articulate post that will fill who ever reads this with hope and inspiration. Honestly, blogging is completely new to me and this started when I agreed to do a guest post on Angie's blog and it turned into me having my own. I'm glad though because it gives me a way to "journal" while helping others (I hope).
The weekend that Jason arrived in Nashville, we attended an Al-anon convention and I stood up the second day he was here and told our story, and that was when I realized what an impact our story could have on people. After all was said, and the meeting was over, people swarmed Jason and I bearing tears of hope and encouragement, and shared very personal stories with us of their current situations. I will never forget the feeling that I had when for the first time in a very long time my husband and I had made a positive impact on others as one.

Sometimes it's hard though, I am surrounded by a monumental number gifted, and BRILLIANT people. It seems as if not one person that I have come in contact with here doesn't have an amazing talent in glorifying God. I, by no means am trying to say oh, poor me, stuck with all these talented people, what is a girl to do? ha ha. That's not it at all. I am BLESSED, beyond what I can write, but I am still just a small town girl that has a lot to learn. So, I listen and read and absorb as much as I can. I do much less talking and a lot more listening these days. Plus it's just plain intimidating at times.

I'm a little good at a whole bunch of things, but I'm not sure if I have a niche. If I do I'm sure the big man upstairs will let me know, and until then I'm totally content putting all of my focus on Him and my family. There is a beautiful line in the book Captivating, by John and Stasi Eldredge that talks about a woman feeling like she is "too much and never enough" at the same time that I love. I have always felt that way and I'm sure many of you have too.

The one thing that I am sure of is that I should keep writing because my husband and I embody God's redemption and grace, we truly are a miracle unfolding and I want to share His mighty work with all that I can because everyday that we are together let's someone who has the "see it to believe it" attitude, well, see it! Many blessings to all of you!






23 comments:

  1. Still praying for you guys! Have a BLESSED weekend!

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  2. I believe you impact a lot more than you think you do. Hang in there. God's love is surrounding you, especially in all the people praying for you.

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  3. You have a wonderful gift for writing, and you have a message of HOPE! One that we all need in one way or another!

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  4. I am praying for you guys! God will reveal everything in HIS timing as far as your niche. I enjoy reading your blog. I love it when God becomes real to a person.

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  5. That's exactly how I feel about myself!! I haven't been through anything CLOSE to what you and Jason have, but I feel that "what's my goal" thing like you do. My husband has a "passion" for his job--he's always known it was what he was born to do. I don't feel like that about anything. I didn't even dream about being a mom when I was a kid. Now, I think my passion is raising my kids, but I'm not sure if I'm very good at it. I try to listen and model moms that I admire, but I never feel like I'm quite measuring up...I definitely think you should keep writing whenever the Spirit moves you to...you never know how many people are affected, or which words you say will have an impact! Thanks for writing--I'm praying for you guys!

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  6. Hi Candice,

    I love it when you blog. I love hearing what you have to say! You are blessed abundantly and I get such joy out of knowing that God is taking your family on a fabulous journey. I'm so happy to have another sister!!!

    ((hugs))

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  7. I think you have a bigger impact than you realize. I am hooked on your blog and love checking in to see your latest post. You write so well and you are such an inspiration to me :-) Have a great weekend and keep up the good work. I love seeing God work in you.

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  8. Hi Candice, I just wanted to say that Captivating is an amazinggg book! I haven't finished it yet, but it's changed my life. The line you mentioned is one of my favorites in the book. It sums up how I feel most of the time. Also, you do have an impact!

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  9. I really love following along with you. You are so candid and it is a rare lucky find to join someone in the depths of a wonderful journey vs. entire retrospect. Thank you so much for inviting us to your path.

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  10. So so proud of you all. Keep doing the thing one day at a time. Praying for you this morning.
    Have a beautiful day!
    Blessings~
    Fran

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  11. Hey C,

    In today's world, I honestly find it a gift to be raw. There is beauty in the rawness of life. So many people are told and shown by media that life is always great, no matter what you're doing. We have become such a mediocre and plastic society (casting crowns, happy plastic ppl, I'm sure angie might know the song!) that we are not as in touch with our inner selves and the depth that is there.

    You will find your giftings! :o) That alone is a journey in itself. I'm there with ya. :o) I think the Lord has really revealed to me this past year, what I think the gifts are that he's giving me....but we'll see. ;o)

    Much love.

    -dre

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  12. One day at a time, and one foot in front of the other!!! :)

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  13. Your writings are really a blessing. Does you husband sing or is he a song writer? Maybe this is what he should be working on for the Lord.

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  14. Your stories are beautiful and the work God is doing in your life makes you a "gifted" person...gifted with His Grace. I too sometimes feel like I cannot articulate as well as others in Glorifying God, but I was at a conference once and heard a woman say...no matter what, NO ONE can every argue the works God has done in YOUR life so just stick with that and you can Glorify God with your stories! You are an inspiration!

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  15. By telling your story here you are going to be an inspiration to many women and men who struggle and are going through what you and your family are. They will be able to see and know that, yes there is a light at the end of the tunnel and when you truly trust in God, He will sustain you. Thanks for allowing God to work through you. You are getting a chance to "try again" that some never get. You are blessed and an inspiration!!!!!! I will be reading your blog and praying that when the day seems long and nothing has been done you are able to keep your eyes on Him.

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  16. I haven't read Angie's blog in several weeks but this morning, I felt a deliberate tug from God to go to see her recent postings. I was like, "Okay, Father. You know I have a homeschool schedule to keep. What are YOU up to??...." So, thinking I would do a quick scan thru to see what He was wanting to show me thru Angie, I come across you. Feeling Him leading me to read about you, I am stunned at how much of you sounds like my old life (minus the horrendous fighting and 2 babies instead of 1). But all the firmiliar turmoil, all the same "not knowing what peace is", all the same chaos, disfunction, fear, agony, misery, HOPELESSNESS... etc. All the same not having a clue what a healthy family was or how to make good life decisions; how a healthy and loving husband treats a wife; how a healthy and loving wife treats a husband,how a healthy momma interacts/nurtures/cares for her babies. --Your words were such strong echos of my past life and marriage..... It's brought back such heavy, saddened memories. I can't tell you how SWEET my life is now, now that I've allowed Jesus to come into my life. --Back then, I never could have FATHOMED what my life would look like now. How good it has become, all because of Christ/God/the Holy Spirit. --My brain would not have been able to "wrap around" this life and what all God has given me these last 15 years+ since truely accepting Him PLUS asking for His constant help and guidance. --To TEACH me.-- I, too, was a broken girl from the "wrong family" that came from the "wrong side of the tracks", etc. Failure after failure, everything that I touched seemed to ROT. --That's what's called "doing life in the flesh --thru OUR strength". --NOTHING works when we do things thru OUR strength... unless you have the devil boosting you up. And I'm pretty sure you don't want him helping you!

    I just want to tell you, hang on, sweet girl. Hold ON!! Pray OUT LOUD, your dreams and hopes to our Father. Your SPOKEN prayers are given true supernatural power thru Jesus Christ. SPEAK YOUR DREAMS OUTLOUD IN YOUR PRAYERS. DON'T be afraid to GET DETAILED!! Our Heavenly Father WANTS to rain down His blessings and gifts to us! --Just like we want to shower our own babies with all the best we can give them, --that's how HE is with us. (I wish I could recall where the verse is that's come --vaguely-- to my mind. My brain doesn't hold onto scripture as well as I want it to. That's what I need to pray on, huh!?! :)

    (I have to go to another post...)

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  17. (con.'t from above post)...Both of my parents were alcoholics. STOUT alcoholics. My mother still has no desire to sober up; however, when my father finally allowed GOD to come back into his life, and when he became Born Again (baptised) ONLY THEN did AA work for him. Before, he failed the program repeatedly, his loved one's being dragged thru hell all the while. (my parents were divored since I was 6 months, so both of my homes held all the turmoil and hell of addictions. I went thru my first 2 decades of life "surviving out of the core of my brain" as I call it. My life was just pure survival, only. No joy. Only fear, fire, and depression). So, PRAY THAT YOUR HUSBAND WILL BE BAPTISED --not just "baptised" in the typical fashion-- BUT BAPTISED IN THE HOLY SPIRIT. ThIS type of baptismal is the ULTIMATE and will provide for him the most strength to succeed in his sobriety. AND DON'T FORGET YOURSELF AND YOUR GIRLS, TOO!! Pray that your whole family will be baptised in the Holy Spirit. --If you don't know what this means (which most christians don't and there are even many christians who don't BELIEVE in it! surprisingly)--look it up. "Being baptised in the Holy Spirit". It's real. It's powerful. It's the most beautiful and wonderous thing I have ever experienced on this earth....(and you don't have to one of those freaky christians to be so, either...!) I didn't have a clue what this was until just a few years ago (after being a Christian for over 15 years). I've been "in love" with Jesus for over a decade, now, and never knew that THIS level existed until a couple years ago, while praying and worshiping alone in my office, "something" happened to me. I had no name for it. --Didn't know there was even a label for it. I just knew something trippin happened to me, then I started actually HEARING God's voice speaking to me in my head...!!! (I actually thought I was loosing my sanity and was afraid to tell anyone.) Then all this other crazy stuff kept happening to me. I had NO DOUPT that it was all God/the Holy Spirit. --I just didn't know how common this still was ("what?! This stuff didn't just happen back in the Bible days?!?!?"). Anyway, it would be too much for me to write it all here (though, poor Angie can attest that I have a strong tendency be too lengthy of a writer... Sorry Angie!! --But you know what that was (me writing too much?) Me, still having a lot of healing left to do, and it just flowing out in all the writing that I didn't know was bottled up inside of me... Same with you. WRITE!!!)
    Okay, my point is this: Your husband's battle IS of the spiritual realm. So is your's. Empower yourselves by seeking the Holy Spirit, plus by becoming BAPTISED by Him, and DAILY(if not minute-by-minute) praying the ARMOUR OF CHRIST over you, your husband (he needs to do it for himself) and your babies, since they need to be taught and your are their guardian in this world. --Once you do, you'll look back and THEN everything will make sense of what I'm sharing with you.

    (gotta cut to yet another post...:)

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  18. (and the LAST post....LOL)

    HOLD ON, Sister. Satan will try to attack you from every angle that he senses weaknesses. Just RECOGNIZE he's trying to trip you up. Then pray BINDING'S in CHRIST'S NAME over him. Okay?? Do it. You'll understand later.

    I'll be praying all over you all. --Later on, when you understand all this spiritual stuff even more, you will just be knocked off your rocker at how even more BLESSED and LOOKED AFTER you and your family has been. Angie and Todd ARE walking with God. --I have no doubt that the Holy Spirit resides in that home of theirs. Soak It in, sister. LEARN FROM IT. Let the Holy Spirit, thru Todd, Angie and girls, KEEP showing you a whole new world.

    Normally, I wouldn't do this... I am feeling very led to give you my contact info. I won't give you my phone number, on here. So, if you want to contact me, I'll give you my email. Then I'll shoot you over my phone number. You can call me, then I'll call you back so you don't have to run up your's or the Smith's phone bill. I don't want to shove anything down your throat, but to be another that gives you hope and strengthens you during your challenges. --I've lived thru a great deal of "fires" with alcoholisms and drugs via family and my ex-husband. I have never, technically, had addictions, but was cursed by a host of other oppressions and bondages that were just as bad. I can only share with you the path the God brought me thru, but I think you could glean a lot from what I've walked thru.

    Anything to help another sister and survivor of addictions
    --Smalltown Michigan girl, too.
    Shannon (theruralartist@gmail.com or facebook: Shannon Scruggs-Allen)

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  19. I always enjoy coming here, because you write with honesty. You are living out your journey and telling about it.

    This is why I gave you an award. Head over to my blog to see it.

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  20. Being Real is the biggest INSPIRATION to us all!

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  21. And again....I was encouraged through your writing ;-)You continue to inspire me, Candice...and God continues to amaze me with you and His love for you (and all of us!).
    How are things? I am feeling a phone call coming on.... ;-)

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  22. You're an inspiration to me. Thank you for continuing to share. :)

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  23. Enjoy being a "sponge" right now. God never wastes His Word or preparations. Life comes in seasons! Enjoy this one to the fullest. Also, its great to learn some of lifes lessons 2nd hand! :)

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